Working Mom Guilt

If any, or all, of the following things have happened to you, you qualify as a NORMAL working mom:

• Your child has worn the same item of clothing to school two days in a row because you forgot to check that she had a clean uniform in her cupboard
• You discovered that your son wasn’t wearing any underpants at school when you try and force him to bath, or your daughter still had her pyjama pants on underneath her clothes
• You drop your kids off at school and give them a kiss only to realise that they still have morning breath because they forgot to brush their teeth (obviously because you didn’t remind them!)
• You’ve taken your kids to school half-dressed (they generally finish in the car) because you have an important meeting and your begging and pleading has had no impact on the speed at which they prepare for school
• You’ve given them money for tuck, or even worse a packet of crisps and a sweet, because the bread was finished and you couldn’t pack them lunch
• You look down at your shoes when the teachers ask for parents to help at sporting events or fund raisers. In your mind you’re saying: “Let the stay at home moms do all the work!”
• You rather give money than baked goods
• If you have to send baked goods, they are bought goods
• You have missed the off-ramp to your child’s school and had to turn around to go and fetch them, whilst feeling guilty for letting them stay longer than you promised them they would
• You have been late for meetings at work and left early to fetch kids, sometimes all in one day. Feeling guilty when your boss sees you and makes the comment: “Working half day again?”
• Your  corporate, power dressing look has been destroyed by some unknown substance on your shoulder or pant leg, inevitably seen by some other young lady climbing the ladder of success and intimidating you with her perfect body and put-together look
• Lastly, you enjoy having adult conversations at work about anything but kids, but you won’t admit it.

Well now that you know you are a normal working mom, we can talk frankly!

It is not bad enough that I judge myself for not staying at home to raise my kids, but being judged by friends and family just makes it so much worse. I would love to hear them say that they admire me for doing the best possible for my family, whilst keeping my own sanity.

Financial pressures, and the need to provide for your family cannot solely be the responsibility of the man in our day and age. In the past females often opted for careers where their income was significantly less than the income earned by men. Men were generally the bread-winners. With the, sometimes regrettable, movements of feminism and female ambition, this is no longer the case. Halving a household income doesn’t mean just cutting out a few luxuries. It means changing your entire lifestyle.

I don’t know what I would choose to do if we could afford a single income.

Finances is not the only driver for working. All those years studying and wanting to contribute to society and also the need to be around adults weighs towards the decision.

Our family make it work through hard work and commitment from both parents. I have a husband who supports me and shares the load of the household and kids equally. I often feel sorry for myself and think that I’m pulling more than my required weight but as soon as he goes away on business, I realise the depth of our partnership. He is a true SUPERDAD! Don’t tell him I say so though!

Nobody can do it on their own, whether working or not. A support system is key. Some are not as fortunate to have support from a spouse but have family or friends who are willing and able. Ask for help!

Whatever you choose, staying at home or being a working mom has its challenges and requires commitment. Do what works for you and your family and stop judging others.

All moms, working or other, I salute you!!!

Until next time,

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