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4. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO MANAGE THE BABY ON YOUR OWN - A ONE WOMAN SHOW This is not possible or wise. For the first two months one really just needs to concentrate on getting to know the baby, establishing the feeding and sleeping routine, and getting enough rest. ideally, you should have assistance with domestic chores, shopping and visitors, either from your spouse, partner, family member or helper. it is best to get help with the housework rather than the baby. Whatever one's financial situation, it is enormously helpful to get the help that you need over this initial period. For the last few months of pregnancy and the first few months after birth one usually feels vulnerable, isolated and not able to deal with tasks that require concentration and assertiveness. it is probably part of the process of getting in tune with the baby's needs. At this time one needs practical and emotional support from one's partner, mother, friends, etc. 5. AFTER 6 WEEKS YOUR SEX LIFE WILL RETURN TO NORMAL Most new mothers take much longer than six weeks before they feel ready to return to a normal sexual relationship. Apart from feeling exhausted, the baby's demands may take all your energy, and your partner needs to understand that your possible lack of libido does not mean that you no longer love them. you and your partner need to explore other ways of showing your tenderness and love for each other. POSSIBLE CAUSES OF thE BLuES The blues may have several causes, some biological and some emotional. when a baby is born there are very sudden changes in the mother's hormone levels. Some, required during pregnancy, drop rapidly, while others like those which start the production of milk, rise. these rapid changes may act to trigger the blues. Many mothers are unprepared for the extreme weariness, which often follows a birth. the weariness is usually due to a combination of factors. in many cases the mother will have been anticipating the birth with some apprehension. this, as well as the physical exertion of the birth itself, can make mothers feel exhausted. rest and a quiet environment are most important after birth. Few mothers get either, as they are busy responding to the needs of the baby, or when they might be able to rest, they are disturbed by hospital or home routines, or by visitors who may stay too long. Sometimes the baby may have a slight health problem such as jaundice or feeding difficulties in the early days. These problems are very common with new babies, but they cause the mothers great anxiety. the problems do settle down as the baby gets older and mothers should try to talk to a medical advisor for assurance if these concerns persist. whAt to do iF you hAvE thE BLuES Mothers who have the blues should allow themselves to cry if they want to and express their fluctuating emotions. If you feel miserable, remember that what you are feeling is normal and healthy and you should try not to force yourself to 'get-it-together'. it can be of great help to speak to someone about how you are feeling and remember that your worries and misery will not last and that you will soon feel better. it is however, important to monitor the way you are feeling and be aware if these feelings become lasting or more severe. CHAPTER 1: WHAT IS POSTNATAL DEPRESSION? 6

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