I am blessed with the most amazing Superdad for a husband! Whenever I hear from friends how their husbands are absent in parenting, just to quickly rush in, shake things up, and rush out again, I realise that I couldn’t have dreamt up a more perfect dad for my kids!
What is the problem then? Just that, he is a perfect dad, which in turn highlights my weaknesses! Everyone likes him and comments about what a good parent and husband he is. Have I ever heard anyone make that comment about me? Heck no! It is always about how lucky I am to have somebody like him! Just like when you go to dinner or on holiday and people land up chatting to you. Nobody ever asks what I do for a living. They always want to know what my husband does! My achievements at work don’t matter but my deficiencies regarding my kids, will be noticed immediately! Yeah, yeah, nobody cares that much to analyse my life to that extent but I do! Ok then, I’ll admit it. I’M JEALOUS OF MY HUSBAND!!!
What does he do that makes him sooooo perfect?
- He cooks!!!! And he does a pretty decent job when doing so.
- He has never told me he cannot help with the kids while I was on maternity leave. He did better, he just helped without me having to ask!
- He collects the kids from school every afternoon. (In my defence, I drop them off in the morning, generally late but…. I do.)
- He entertains them on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon for an hour or so, so that I can have a nap.
- He takes care of them when I’m away on business. He even puts my daughter’s hair in a pony!
- He gets up early, gives the kids breakfast and allows me to sleep in when possible. But then he is an early bird and is awake in any event!
- He goes to their athletic try-outs. I haven’t been able to go to any because they are during the day!
- He packs lunch for the kids when he gets up early in the morning……and……
- He is a fulltime attorney!
You would agree with me that looking at all of the above is enough to make you feel guilty! I can feel the older generation’s judgement burning into me when looking at me and my role in the family! Oh I know, it is actually just my own feelings of guilt that I want to blame on others!
We were raised in a society where mothers had to do the cooking, cleaning, nurturing and all things school related. The household dynamic was very different during those days and moms didn’t generally bring in an equal income.
So what is the lesson? Be grateful and accept acts of love unconditionally! Return them where and when possible! Enjoy the time that you have with your husband and kids and make memories!
As long as your household is content and you are raising well-adjusted kids, don’t sweat the small stuff and stop trying to fit into the perceived to be accepted mould!
Here’s a toast to all the Superdads out there!!!
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