If you are blessed to have more than one child, you would have experienced their wrath towards one another. If you haven’t, you are one lucky parent and you should skip this article just in case you jinx it!!
So here I was feeling well in control, waiting for the second one to arrive. I now knew what type of child our recipe produced and was certain I am in the swing of things.
Not only did I expect I would have another girl, I also thought they’d look and act similar.
When baby number 2 arrived it was not only a boy with dark hair, where his sister is blonde, but he was also very placid in contrast with his sister who arrived in this world thinking she owned it. She’s organised and he lives in chaos. He shares, she doesn’t!
Oh well, at least that balances the equation out and must make it easier, you say!
Here’s the surprise….Nope!!! It’s a nightmare!
Big sister wants things done her way and little brother doesn’t want to do anything! Start screaming match one! If she does get him to play, she must be in charge i.e. the teacher, rugby coach or dance instructor. Even though he’s placid he still doesn’t want to give up control!! So therefore… Enter the whining… from both!!!
Now as a parent you hear the following:
“I don’t want to play that!!!”, “I don’t care, you will!!!”, “Give that back to me”, “No, you should share” “It’s my property and I don’t need to share because you didn’t ask!!!!”, “Stop hitting me!!!”, “You hurt me first!!!”, “I’m telling Mommy!!!”
You let it run its course to see if it sorts itself out, which it never does!!! It always ends up with one of the two running towards me with a: “<<Insert Name>> hurt me!” “I hate him/her. They’re the worst in the world!!!” and I end up not knowing who to blame, shame or punish!
I now understand why parents used to punish both kids, whether both were guilty or not! If you pick a side, especially if it’s my son’s side, I hear: “Why do you love him more than me? You never take my side!!!” Which is obviously untrue.
So what do I do??? I generally send them both to their rooms and tell them they can come out when they obey our rules of not screaming in the house and respect one another.
They often sneak out and I find them in one another’s space to just start fighting from scratch!
The only solution thus far has been for me to divide them and deal with them separately!!
Happy refereeing!
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